Work it Out!

*Read Matthew 16:21-28

In this day and age we are encouraged to never mix religion and politics. In fact, in social circles we are encouraged to never even bring up the topic of religion and politics. Now whether you are liberal or conservative, the topics seem to be intertwined in conversation. I’m excited by the possibility that we won’t have to keep secret our understanding of God, and how our government should reflect the goodness, grace and love of a God who has no enemies. Well…it is a dream.

A few years ago on Thanksgiving I spent an unprecedented dinner with practically every member of my family in the home of one of my relatives. After we had finished our meal…and were unbuckling our belts to breathe a bit easier, we sat down in the large family room and watched the evening news. There was a story about the war in Iraq concerning the bombing of a Moslem mosque in Bagdad by U.S. soldiers. Apparently it was being used by Al Qaeda as a hiding place, yet many civilians had been killed and the Iraqi people were outraged by this display of violence on one of their holy temples. The conversation quickly turned to an analysis of whether this was truly a wrong thing to do. One extended member of the family suggested that Muslims were going to hell anyway, so what’s the problem with killing them?

Well, if you know me even a little at all, you’d know that I can’t let a flippant and prejudiced comment like that go unchallenged. Needless to say, my response was pretty emotional. “Do you really think that Christians should be applauding the death of innocent people, no matter what their religious affiliation?” Of course, I didn’t say it that calmly. Now, no matter what you feel about terrorism, the war in Iraq, or even the Moslem people in general, murder is murder…no matter who commits it or for what reason.

In this week’s gospel, Matthew confronts those same issues to members of the early church who have offended and harmed another. The focus of Matthew’s words is to work out sins against each other by going to the offender directly and seeking reconciliation with the one who had done something wrong against you. He encourages these young Christians NOT to sweep grievances under the carpet. Don’t ignore it or try to pretend it hasn’t happened. But also…don’t let it continue.

For the many who have suffered abuse at the hands of church, had problems of sexual harassment, or sexual imposition, this text has special relevance. The Church’s failure to face the wrongs that were done has led to the necessity of lawsuits in the civil courts. The process outlined in Matthew’s teaching is in the end a compassionate way of living in community. But they are still hard sayings about things that are really hard to confront.

I believe that Jesus is also calling attention to the way in which holding onto or letting go of hostility is an extremely powerful force. We now recognize the way in which the cycle of vengeance in the Middle East is unending; each offense becoming the occasion for more retaliation in an endless quest for revenge and justice. The only way, and I do mean the only way to break this cycle is forgiveness in which the offense is abandoned and let go.

In this interpretation of the text, Jesus is calling the church to notice the way in which his spirit is with them in the process of the trial. Each of us have the power to bind or loose, to let go of offenses against each another and to forgive, even in the midst of painful decisions. Matthew’s gospel was written for a small community, living in a hostile environment. This week’s text is not a legal manual on how to deal with troublemakers. It is more of a vision about how to incorporate God’s loving ways with others. Those of us who know what it means to be forgiven demonstrate our redemption by the way we forgive others. We have no right to nurse grievances, cling to old wounds and resist efforts to bring about reconciliation. Since reconciliation is constantly God’s work among us, so it must constantly be our work as well. And when we fully engage in that work, we might break a sweat.

But I guarantee that loosing a few unwanted conflicts will make you feel much lighter!

When I counsel people who are experiencing difficulty with others I encourage them to engage in a "mirror exerice" to use the next time you encounter such a conflict.

On the left side of the column list every thing about the person or situation that troubles you. For instance, if you are having a conflict with your spouse or partner because they don’t seem to listen to you, then list that issue, “won’t listen” on the left side. If another person intimidates you for some reason, then write the word “intimidating” on the left side. Other words that might describe the conflict situation are; passive aggressive, condescending, controlling, lack of intimacy, always think they are right, etc.

Now, here’s the hard part; on the right side of the column list across from each word a time and situation when you were the same way. Let that sink it a second.

Yes, what I’m saying is that whatever conflict you are having is an opportunity for you to be honest about how you have been the same way to another person. The experience you are having is a “mirror” for yourself. And if you can see the need within yourself for change and forgiveness, then you will not have that conflict any longer. Don’t believe me? Then list “lack of trust” on the left side of the column. Just kidding! I’m telling you that it will work. You just have to “work it out” in your own mind and heart. That’s what Jesus calls us to do. Are you willing to make it work?